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EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI

This final episode of the greatest saga of all. Drinks are on me, folks.

First, one of the less well-remembered “ceremonial limb deletions”, as EV-9D9 calls them in Tales from Jabba's Palace. There's some poor silver schmuck in the background of the droid torture scene who gets his arm pulled off. The fact that I didn't notice this after about seven thousand viewings should tell you something about its prominence.

We start with a bit of foreshadowing: Luke’s bionic hand, replacing the one that got chopped off, gets blasted by a laser bolt, revealing the circuitry within. The guy who accomplishes this feat is Taym Drengaren. He has a stupid hat. Anyway, he shoots Luke's hand. Luke wears a glove now, like Michael Jackson.

Some other things happen.

Luke goes to the Death Star.

Luke, who loves his sister (after all, she’s a good kisser!), gets pretty mad when Vader says “If you will not turn to the dark side, perhaps she will!” He turns on his lightsaber (his own, self-made one, a green one) and starts beating the crap out of Papa.

Meanwhile Sigmund Freud is blaming all of Luke’s aggression on Padmé.

Yes, I know, I used that joke already. You think this site is easy to put together?!

He knocks Vader to the ground and smashes against the red blade of his father’s saber: bam! bam! bam!

Slash! Off comes Vader’s hand, and suddenly he starts waving his arms, doing a “Down, boy” gesture.

But do you notice that Vader’s severed wrist is a bunch of wires and circuits? Apparently he has already gotten his hand cut off before… in Splinter of the Mind’s Eye… and Attack of the Clones… and some other place too… hooray for continuity.

Anyway, Vader loses his hand, but gains the ability to shoot lightning from his eyeball.

Luke looks at the glove which covers his bionic hand. And it is his chopped-off hand which inspires him to not turn to the dark side, and redeem his father, and save the galaxy!

Some other things happen.